Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta
First there was a fax machine. It was evil and it was destroyed in the name of all that was holy and good in the world. The force within the fax machine was too strong though and it survived the massacre only to embody itself within a new host. A printer. A simple color laser printer owned by a simple marketing type company that simply wanted simple pages printed in color. That was simply too much though.
The printer and the evil that lived within were determined to shake the faith of the good employees of the small marketing type company until they cried out for mercy. It jammed. It smeared. It used toner faster than an H2 guzzles through a gallon of gas. It flashed obscure error messages. If you listened closely to the whirring mechanisms within it could be heard to say “John is dead.” The printer was bad right down to the belts.
After compassionate care had worn down even the most optimisic of our office drone heroes the moment of truth arrived. The printer had to die. And it did.
Boys Never Learn
I’m superior, you’re inferior
I’m the big attraction, you’re the small
I’m the major one, you’re the minor one
I can beat you shootin’, that’s not all
Anything you can do, I can do better
I can do any thing better than you
- Irving Berlin
Transvestites
I’d like to introduce you to a friend of mine. This is Bob. Bob and I work together. Bob is a good guy but he likes to tease me. Lately he’s been on this “Soccer Mom” kick. He says that my kids will determine what kind of mom I will [...]
Bathrooms
Generally the bathrooms in my office building are very clean. They clean and sanitize everything overnight every night and during the day a lady comes in to empty the trash and generally tidy things up. She’s really nice too. Anyway, one of suites in the building is a training facility that rents their classrooms out [...]
