A Long Time Ago We Used To Be Friends

Everyone I know googles. In my circle of friends and family and acquaintances I can’t think of a single person who yahoos or msns. Maybe we google because the name Google is so easy to transition into a verb. It was nonsense before it was a search portal so really the name was able to play any role in your sentence diagram that was needed. In the last few years it’s become increasingly common to google people. I’ve heard about it on the radio and the news, it’s referred to in television and movies now. Googling has invaded pop culture. I was doing it long before it had a cool name though.

Back when I started “googling” people it was known by a less attractive name. I wasn’t running a quick search to locate the guy I’d been set up with on a blind date, I was cyber stalking. I had a couple less tech-savvy friends ask me to work my magic and stalk old boyfriends with whom they hoped to rekindle the romance but even they said it was kinda creepy how I could find just about anyone. I just have a knack I guess.

Now that it’s societally acceptable to search for people online I feel all right admitting that I do look people up online. Not for anything malicious, just curiousity. If you’re reading this because you’re a friend of mine who likes to indulge me and my rambling then guess what, I’ve googled you. If you have your own website, I’ve been to it. If there’s an embarassing quote you said 10 years ago that got put in a newspaper, I’ve seen it. If you post regularly on a message board, I’ve read it. If you exist anywhere in the cyber world, I found you. That’s what I do. And when I’m really bored I start looking for other people, those unfortunate folks who no longer have the pleasure of being a constant and integral part of my life.

I’ll admit, the longer I’ve been out of touch with someone the harder they are to find, but usually I can do it. I did it tonight. I found a good friend from high school, someone that I’ve known since 6th grade, and haven’t seen in at least 8 years. He was actually pretty easy since I knew not just his full name but the nicknames he goes by. That and he’s got a really uncommon last name. Then I looked at what I found and remembered why sometimes googling isn’t a good idea.

There are those people from your past, like the really popular kids from high school, that you really hope aren’t doing anything great or interesting with their lives because they spent four years making you feel inferior and it would be really nice to know that your mom was right about you being more successful in the real world. Usually it turns out your mom was right and you feel really good about yourself. Then there are the old friends who you just want to know are happy and when you see their wedding announcements you get a warm fuzzy imagining, probably inaccurately but who cares, how happy they are in their wonderful lives. Then there’s the last category. The people who you cared about and hope to find a little note in some unsecured company intranet newsletter about the birth of their third child but instead you find what I found tonight. Success.

I’m not talking about little success here. This isn’t husband and kids with a nice house in the suburbs and an attached, dare we dream, three car garage. I’m talking about raging success. The kind of success that isn’t fleeting. A girl who graduated a year ahead of me that I knew from the theater group is not an actress in LA. She’s been on three different shows that actually made it onto the network schedule. They were all cancelled after one season. Sure, she’s working but I’m not impressed so whatever. I could tell you her name and you’d have no clue who she is and if I told you I can just about guarantee you wouldn’t care. Kelli knows who I’m talking about

Anyway, the guy I found tonight isn’t Hollywood successful, he’s life successful. You’d never in a million years recognize his name but that’s not the important part of success. He went to U of I (University of Illinois for you folks outside flyover country) and got a degrees in sociology AND political science. Then he joined the Peace Corps and traveled all over the world helping third world countries develop better sanitation management and other important global type stuff. After that he went to NYU’s Wagner Graduate School of Public Service to get his master’s degree in Public Administration. Now he has a job with a firm (not a company, a firm) with a hoity-toity name when he consults on projects for major companies. He is, without a doubt, a mover and shaker.

It was one of those people searches that left me impressed and wildly proud that I actually knew this guy during his formative years and at the same time makes my own little life seem, well, little. Now I don’t want any comments from anyone telling me how important my job as a mother is. I know that so shush. I’m just saying that managing to get 2 kids into bed on time is sort of underwhelming compared to say, coordinating emergency reconstruction aid to earthquake victims in Central America. See what I mean?

I may not be quite as up and coming as my old friend but I am comforted by the picture that I saw on his company profile. The poor guy is balding. A lot. Small comfort but I’m a petty person so I’ll take it. By the way, for those of you who feel so inclined to start googling me I have just one thing to say. Good luck. If you find me make note of the page number because I’ve never been bored enough to go through more than 50 and I have yet to find myself. No pun intended.

Dandy Warhols – Welcome to the Monkey House