Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta

First there was a fax machine. It was evil and it was destroyed in the name of all that was holy and good in the world. The force within the fax machine was too strong though and it survived the massacre only to embody itself within a new host. A printer. A simple color laser printer owned by a simple marketing type company that simply wanted simple pages printed in color. That was simply too much though.

The printer and the evil that lived within were determined to shake the faith of the good employees of the small marketing type company until they cried out for mercy. It jammed. It smeared. It used toner faster than an H2 guzzles through a gallon of gas. It flashed obscure error messages. If you listened closely to the whirring mechanisms within it could be heard to say “John is dead.” The printer was bad right down to the belts.

After compassionate care had worn down even the most optimisic of our office drone heroes the moment of truth arrived. The printer had to die. And it did.

And so, between them, the tireless coworkers beat back the opressive print device until it could no longer remember its IP address. The hard fought battle between man and machine concluded and all the reminders of the dictatorial reign were destroyed. Flames licked every page of the manual as the installation disks smoldered and melted away. Okay, maybe that part is an exaggeration, but they did throw them all out. In the end, wearing victorious grins, the champions returned to the cube farm they called work knowing in their hearts that they had, for once, served the cause of the greatest good.

DOWN WITH HP! LONG LIVE WORKING OFFICE EQUIPMENT!