The Night That The Lights Went Out In Georgia
Friday night. The perfect night for some serious loafing. I’m talking top-notch professional grade couch potato slacking. Don’t-try-this-at-home-kids goofing off. The plan was just perfect. The only missing ingredient was food. I needed some hard-core snacks in order to appropriately vegetate in front of the television. I was thinking of throwing together a brownie mix and nuking some cheese dip. It was exactly what I needed for a super calorie high fat E! True Hollywood Story marathon. And then the power went out taking my dream of gaining ten pounds in 4 hours right along with it.
I actually just sat there in the dark for a few minutes debating what I should do. It had been years since I’d been powerless and I can’t remember a single time that the lights went out when I was alone. The whole thing was rather disconcerting. So there I sat pondering my next move when I realized that it might, perhaps, be wise to assess the situation of my neighbors.
Skipping lightly to the balcony door I peered outside and saw no glowing windows across the driveway while across the street outdoor lights twinkled merrily in the cloudy twilight gloom. I tried to peek across the park to see if the houses on the other side had power but couldn’t do it without stepping outside. So I did. Step outside that is.
Standing on my balcony I could see that no one in the center of the circle had electricity while all the houses on the perimeter flashed their gleaming bulbs arrogantly in our direction. Quite unfair. And unfortunate for us since the weather that evening was beyond moderately humid and it was about to rain again at any moment. No air conditioning and no open windows without soaking the carpets. Darn it all. Darn it all to heck.
After a brief chat with my next-door-neighbor (which was a story in and of itself that I will not go into in this particular forum) and a slightly less brief and even less interesting phone call I found myself back at my original quandry. What was I to do for the remainder of the evening. It was becoming progressively dimmer inside my house and with Spy Baby fast asleep in her crib (I assumed although I didn’t check so I suppose it is entirely possible that the whole electrical fiasco was her doing) I couldn’t leave the house. I resolved to locate some candles and after much shifting of boxes and stubbing of toes I located a single candle using the display light of my cell phone as a flashlight.
Once the candle was lit I realized that a small flicker of flame casts a wide glow and using this smoldering ember I was able to curl up in my office chair with a book. I read for two hours. Not that that is unusual for me, but the coziness lent by the slowly melting wax stick next to me made it seem extraordinary. Shortly after 10 o’clock (and I know this because I have a cell phone and a clock that runs on batteries) I turned in. I awoke sometime while it was still dark with my alarm clock flashing 1:34 at me. That was a lovely moment which I reveled in before passing out again.
So I didn’t gain ten pounds but I loafed quite successfully for two hours. Although I think the reading may have created more neural pathways than the television would have killed so perhaps I didn’t slack as well as I had planned. Nevertheless, an okay evening was had. And I was told I’m a beautiful woman. That’s even better than a VH1 Behind the Music marathon.
