Monster Busters

When PK was about three she started making up excuses for getting out of bed at night. Anything to interrupt my peace and quiet and get a few more minutes of attention. PK’s favorite distraction was ghosts. She would come out to the living room crying that there were ghosts all over her room and that she couldn’t possible sleep with the fiends flying around.

In order to deal with her fears I would run around the room scooping the ghosts up and throwing them out the windows and doors. It was quite a workout and made PK laugh like a hyena. The upside was that after I’d chased all the ghosts out of her room she would go to sleep. The downside was that she was so amused by my ghost-busting that every time I went into her room to catch them there were greater numbers of ghosts. Just inventing more ghouls wasn’t enough though, they also got smarter. Eventually I’d go into her room to find hordes of ghosts who would no longer cower and scurry off when tossed out on their ears. The new ghosts would cling to the door frames, wriggle out of my arms to hide in the closet and creep back in the window while my back was turned dealing with the next apparition.

Fortunately there came a day when PK outgrew the ghosts and I was forced to join a gym to get my exercise. Now I’m dealing with Monkey’s fears: Monsters. Tonight she crept into our room after she’d been tucked in to let us know that her room was overrun and she was on the run. Since DH was lounging face down on the bed and showed no sign of concern I abandoned my ironing to fend of the oogedy boogedies.

She entered her room cautiously and told me the monsters were under her bed. After I turned on the light she inspected the shadows below her bed and declared that there were no monsters because they were only there when the lights were off. Flicking the switch down she checked again and pronounced that they were back.

I turned the light on once more and sat with her to discuss the problem. It turned out that the monsters hid right outside her room waiting until the moment the room went dark to go mini-size in order to slip in unseen. Once under the bed they got big-sized again in order to scare her.

The solution to the problem was immediately clear. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my aerosol can on monster repellent. It’s very similar to bug repellent or RAID. By spraying it around all the doors and windows we were able to stop the monsters from entering the room at all. With the monster problem solved Monkey snuggled back into her bed and hasn’t been seen again.

Two questions remain. How far will the monster problem escalate and what boogy-woogie with Busy B come up with?