That Don’t Impress Me Much

It’s been a long time since I wrote. A really long time. The kind of long time that makes people stop checking to see if there’s something new posted because nothing new has been posted in such a long time that people can only assume that I witnessed a mob hit and have been whisked away into protective custody until the trial begins when I become an overnight hero/celebrity like Kato during the OJ trial except that I’m intelligent, adorable and endearing which leads to such massive publicity that no amount of cleverness on the part of the FBI will conceal my identity in the witness protection program and they are forced to assign me my own security detail further increasing my mystique and filling my schedule to the point that I no longer have time to write on my overnight smash hit of a website.

Well, that’s not what happened. I’ve just been lazy. There was this wacky hormonal thing which I won’t really discuss in order to avoid an overshare flag and a 10 yard penalty. Then there are always the children bouncing off the walls. They’ve been so rubberized this summer that I finally cracked and bought a “safety harness” for SB. In other words she now wears a leash in public. On top of that I had my fabulous Flag Day party a couple weeks ago that was a smashing success. It’s really just been one thing after another and I’ve been lucky that I managed to do enough laundry to keep us all in clean underwear.

Tonight though, ah… Tonight. I was on top of my game tonight. I grilled up some hot dogs for dinner and while I was at it I threw on some chicken to prepare for tomorrow night’s chicken pasta salad dinner. I got both kids bathed. That’s right, both kids in one night. I folded four loads of laundry. I washed the dishes. And the pinultimate achievement for this evening was scrubbing and sanitizing my kitchen cabinets!

What? They’re white and they were looking dingy. I just couldn’t look at them like that anymore. They’re all sparkly clean now. No crayon or fingerprints or 3 month old food drips. It’s so lovely. I’m so proud of myself. Just don’t look at the floor or you’ll ruin the effect.

Now that I’ve accomplished more in 2 hours than I did in the last two weeks I’m going to reward myself by reading a book. In the quiet clean of my kitchen I’ll relax and read. I deserve it.